Saturday, April 7, 2012

Baby! And An Important Life Lesson

Well, I didn't have to wait too long after finishing the quilt before I had a baby to wrap up in it. My son was born on March 18th!

He was more than a month early, and had to spend just over two weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit. But, now he's healthy and at home with us. I'm so grateful to the nurses and doctors who made this experience as good as it could be.

Tests were run to determine why he was born early...

They found problems that usually go hand-in-hand with high blood pressure. While my blood pressure was usually normal throughout my pregnancy, I have no doubt that some periods of extreme stress were responsible for the issues I experienced. 

So, here's the lesson:
Excise the toxic people from your life. Do it now. They bring you nothing but pain and misery in the long run. They adversely affect your life in ways that you never imagined they could. Even letting them take up space in your thoughts is giving them too much of your precious energy. And, it doesn't matter what their relationship is to you. If their presence adds nothing of value to your life, cut them out of it.

I wish that I had ended contact with my mother years ago when I had my first inkling of what she was. It would have saved me so much grief. If only I hadn't allowed her into my life, I could have possibly avoided the events that caused me so much stress. If only I had avoided that stress, I may have avoided the problems with my pregnancy, and my baby might have been born when he was ready to be. If only...

Don't make the same mistakes I made. Don't allow the toxic people you know to have any of your time or energy. No one can make a claim on your life unless you let them.


  1. Found your blog by way of your it!!

    You are lucky to figure out at a young age that your mother doesnt have to be in your life just because she is your mother. I didnt figuure that out until I was 51 and what a weight it took off my shoulders when I cut her out of my life. Go forward and dont look back!!

    1. Thank you!

      It may have taken you a while longer, but, unfortunately, there are some people that never figure that out. Be proud of yourself that you were able to do what you had to to protect yourself! I had a lot of help from kind and experienced internet strangers to make that decision. They may never know that they helped me, but I'm eternally grateful.

      I'm not sure what kind of toxic your mother was but, if you're curious, these are the resources I took advantage of (makes for interesting reading because this kind of crazy is, literally, everywhere!):

      and the book by Dr. Robert Hare PhD 'Without Conscience'